


3:15

by foricarus (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Enjoy!, M/M, break ups, this is so edgy WHOOPS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/foricarus
Summary: "laying next to you, I got a flight in the morning.got me questioning what I think is important."





	3:15

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by bazzi's song, **[3:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5SP3lkojWc)**

**_maybe i'm stuck in the past, girl,  
_ ** **_not willing to let it all go._ **

 

**_»»————　∘◦ ☆ ◦∘　————««_ **

 

Breathtaking.

He was breathtaking, but his heart crumpled looking at him. Changbin looked around the familiar dingy room. Everything was as it was normally, but the blonde hair was all wrong. There was someone else in his heart constantly. It was almost as if they were two halves of one whole, but one is holding on stronger than the other.

Changbin grew used to Felix. He loved him, sure, but never in a way that felt right. Never in the way that Jisung made him feel from what seemed like eons ago. He can’t find something that he lost. He opened his Instagram to see a picture of Jisung with his new boyfriend.

Another heart crumpling moment.

He promised Jisung so many things, yet it wasn’t enough for him. Jisung was more than enough for him, but he can’t say the same for how the other felt for him. Changbin was a use of spare time he had. Nothing more than a disposable item he used for pleasure and compassion.

_ (“Jisung, are you ever tired of me? Just tell me so no one gets hurt more than they need to.” Changbin glanced nervously at the squirrel-like boy. _

_ Jisung gave him a soft look. “Binnie, I could never be tired of you!”) _

He picked up his clothes from the floor and grabbed his stuff quietly. He showered quickly, dressed himself, took his plane ticket from his desk and his suitcase. He left a note for Felix and closed the door softly.

Drives to the airport were always strangely reminiscent for him. He was always reminded of the round cheeks and soft glances that used to be for him. He wanted him to miss him too, but he ruined that. It’s his fault. He can’t blame someone else for something that he brought unto himself.

_ (“Hey, Changbin!” Jisung waved to him, motioning to him to come over. “Can you take a picture of me with the ocean as the background.” _

_ Jisung made them stop at a beach before going to the airport. At this point, they were going to be late to their flight, but what could he expect from Jisung? _

_ “Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up.”) _

He glanced out the window of his car. The sun was rising and his world was falling apart. If he pretends it isn’t happening, maybe it’ll get better.

He got out of his car, and walked slowly to the entrance. The smell reminded him too much of love and the beach - a smell that he pretends to be repulsed to. Every corner seems as familiar as the next. They traveled a lot in their relationship. Mostly since Jisung loved seeing the world. Changbin’s breath hitched seeing the big window viewing the airplanes. The golden orange color was filling the entire airport and things seemed too real.

_ (“One more flight, please!” Jisung pleaded with puppy-dog eyes. He knew very well of how those worked on Changbin. _

_ “Fine, but you can’t blame me if I throw up on the plane.” Changbin said, poking Jisung. Jisung gave him a childish smile, but kissed his cheek nonetheless.) _

The flight was quiet. There were hushed whispers from adults telling their children to quiet down, the muffled noise of music from headphones, snoring, and the buzzing of the airplane. One noise was missing, but he didn’t want to dwell on it. He knew that the destination was not somewhere he should be, but he can’t stop himself once he has an idea.

The flight dragged on, and so did his feelings. He sat there, opened the window, and had a small smile on his face about how much Jisung would tell him off for it.

_ (“Changbin, the sun hurts my eyes.” _

_ “Oh really? So how are you looking at me all the time?” Changbin snorted whilst Jisung slapped his arm lightly with a grin on his face.) _

It wasn’t that he hated living out in California, it was just that someone was missing. His life was amazing. He was making money, had many new friends, and lovers that gave him the attention he needed. It never felt enough, somehow. He was living, but at what cost?

The seatbelt signal dinged and Changbin turned on some music for the last part of the flight. He closed his eyes and attempted to doze off. He knows fully well that if he wasn’t with him in real life, he’d be there in his dreams. Most of the time, the dreams were severely self-deprecating and loathing himself.

_ (“Hey, Jisung?” Changbin lifted his head slightly to look at the boy sprawled across him. _

_ “What’s up?” He looked up from his phone, tilting his head cutely to the side. _

_ “If we’re ever apart, can I buy you a ticket to fly you to where I am?” He felt extremely jittery to ask that question. Was it too much for them? Jisung could feel his nerves and held his hand gently. _

_ “Changbin, of course. Always.”) _

He gave up everything for Jisung. If he didn’t have Jisung, what was the point of it all? He threw away his old relationships and invested himself into his partner. He loved - no -  _ loves  _ Jisung so much. He loves him to the point where he doesn’t think there can be someone else. He touched the chain on his neck and thinks about when Jisung gave him that gift. It was one of the last ones they gave to each other. 

His lockscreen was a silhouetted photo of Jisung at the beach. It was one of the first photos he took on his phone. He tries not to look at the pictures too much. The dull ache in his heart intensifies from how it usually is.

_ (“Do you not want the gift?” Changbin looked at Jisung desperately. _

_ Jisung flipped another page in his book. “I said I was fine and didn’t need it, Changbin.”) _

Jisung was never good for him - he knew that much. He was holding onto something that wasn’t supposed to be combined in the first place. Jisung was something untouchable. Something that wasn’t his to hold in the first place, yet too beautiful to leave behind.

He grabbed his suitcase from the upper compartment and trudged out of the airport. The scenery was too much for him. It was too many memories flooding back - good and bad. He called over a taxi and told him the first address that he thought of.

_ (“You have enough people to call your own, Changbin. Just get one of them to be with you. I’m sure it’s not that difficult.” Jisung turned his back and headed for the door. Changbin grabbed his arm and whispered to him. _

_ “You’re the only one for me, Ji. I swear, just don’t leave me. Please.”) _

Their old apartment seemed the way it had a year ago - small, noisy, empty, and colorless. Still, the person who brought so much happiness and sad thoughts into his life appeared from the corner of his eye.

Jisung looked over, quizzically. He tilted his head, but gave a small smile to offer him. He walked over to Changbin and had a blank expression. Changbin brushed away his thoughts and moved to greet him.

_ (“I can’t anymore, Jisung. I just can’t.”) _

“Hey, Jisung! How have you been?”

_ (“You’re nothing without me, Changbin. You know this.”) _

“Somewhat good. You?”

_ (“Don’t tell me what I’m worth, Jisung.”) _

“Great.”

 

**_»»————　∘◦ ☆ ◦∘　————««_ **

 

**_it's a quarter after three,  
_ ** **_sayin' everything we mean._ **

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this really angsty fic!! i still suck at angst so this was an experiment! leave comments and kudos!! ily all!!
> 
> **[twt](https://twitter.com/lovinhoon)**  
>  **[carrd](https://lovemily.carrd.co/)**  
>  **[tumblr](https://hanlix.tumblr.com/)**  
>  **[rec song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5SP3lkojWc)  
> **


End file.
